It’s about that time of the year where women are being reminded and applauded once again on how strong and resilient they are in having to endure so much and yet still being able to handle themselves with esteemed elegance and poise when needs be. This narrative that women were designed to withstand suffering is one that has been introduced, retold, and laced with a round of applause through generations and legacies. The ambit to which this narrative has been perpetuated is quite extensive and any damage caused by it dangerously incessant. Convincing women that they are made of steel has not only caused them to numb themselves to the infliction of suffering, whether deliberate or simply circumstantial, but has also convinced perpetrators that women can handle anything that is thrown to them. It is a narrative that is far beyond detrimental and ought to be retracted immediately.
The women's March to the Union Buildings in Pretoria march in 1956 called for strength and resilience. The situation required women to gather all the strength they had and be indestructible or at least present themselves to be. They were facing structures and systems that were being created solely for the exclusion of women in the economic, social and corporate worlds and hence had to disregard their fragility and take action. The systems I speak of were erected as a by-product of institutionalized sexism, racism and gender inequality which left women with no choice but to put on this rock shield and present themselves as unbreakable. Seeing this, the oppressors have since used this ‘mbokodo’ postulation as an excuse for putting women, African women more especially, through unspeakable and deliberate suffering.
If you came across a glass wall and were told that it is indestructible it would make sense for you to take a blow at it, maybe fire a bullet or two to prove that it is indeed what it claims to be. To test its limits you might also keep having a go at it until it eventually cracks because you want to prove or disprove the claim that was made. If, however, you were to approach a glass wall and are told nothing about it except that it is glass, you will treat it with the utmost care because even though there is a good chance it won’t break, you aren’t willing to find out otherwise.
This is not to say that women are weak and vulnerable creatures who put on a facade because they’ve been told that is what a woman is but the purpose is to de-antagonize fragility. You need not be made of steel nor do you need to prove that you’re a rock. This time around let us commemorate the women of 1956 by not only reminding each other that there is still a lot to change but also by encouraging one another to let our guards down and demand to be handled with care. Today, even though aluta continua and we cannot take to the streets, let us flood the social network streets with a new narrative. Let us perpetuate a new chant and scream it to the very end:
“Wathinta abafazi, wathinta iqanda. Bamba uqaphele.”
“You strike a woman, you strike an egg. Handle with caution.”
Reflections by Ntombizethu Cele, 2019 Siyandisa Foundation Scholarship recipient, 2nd Year BCom Finnancial Planning student at Stellenbosch University